Salaam Shakir, Salaam to everyone
When you are on the Path, and say that means not yearning for what is at people’s hands, Allah provides for you and Allah alone teaches you:
2:282. And safeguard against Allah’s (wrath), and Allah teaches you
وَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَۖ وَيُعَلِّمُڪُمُ ٱللَّهُۗ
Learning form the books or learning from the learned folk is a tiny part of that teaching, if you do not want anything from people then they morph into instruments of causality through which Allah’s knowledge effuses towards you.
If you want to be called “scholar” or “sheikh” or “writer” or you want people’s eyes watch you talking about Allah, then you are off the Path, you want something which is with people. All you endeavour is just book knowledge, perhaps better for you reading a magazine telling people what you read.
And such worldly scholar is the worst of all evil angering Allah per Hadith of the Prophet.
Safeguard against such scholarly evil:
1. Before setting foot on the Path, before attempting to acquire knowledge, empty your heart from what is with people. I am not saying not to desire anything, be a monk, you could desire everything a normal man or woman desires and needs, but ask Allah to sate you, do not ask people!
2. Sit every night like a homeless by the roadside waiting to beg, see if the Sultan of hearts, Allah, opens a door for you, offer you to see something new from the other world. Don’t wait for people.
3. When you step upon the Path to acquire knowledge, like a beggar who hides his or her face in shame, do not show your face to anyone, let people see you doing customary daily things, but no more exposure. This exposure to people while learning might cause ailment in your heart. Feel shame putting up your videos on Youtube talking about Allah!
I ask Allah to open a path for you and for your loved ones, regards
Dara